The Art of feeling happy
photo artist unknown
Happiness is an inside job, but we try too hard.
A while ago I’ve been asked by one of my friends if I could write about happiness. Triggered by a pattern in herself. When she wants something which she thinks will make her happy and finally gets or achieves it the feeling of happiness only lasts for a moment. A short ecstatic high. A fast fall back into the void of something is missing in life. Which natural fuels the drive to chase the feeling of happiness again. Like a drug addiction. A common phenomenon in society, not only for my friend.
What’s the reason for that?
1. The belief that we can be happy on a consistent basis is utopia. Life is about high and lows. This is the human experience, but we can either chose it to be hard or easy by the way we respond whatsoever obstacles are put in our way.
2. People think what they want is the happiness feeling, but what they actually want is the feeling of contentment, fulfilment, joy und connection. Yet most are unaware.
Brings me to...
3. There are 2 types of happiness:
· conditional = mind centred, earthly experiences, material objects, it is temporary based on outward circumstances but can bring intense pleasure and moments of bliss. The problem, we tie it to conditions such as “If I find the love of my life, I will be happy” or “If I make 6 figures a year, I will be happy” or “If I hustle hard now, I will relax later”. Like a bee we fly from flower to flower (shiny object syndrome)
· unconditional = heart centred, spiritual experiences, caring for others, gratitude, it is lasting based on inward circumstances as it brings peace and satisfaction. The problem, we are not educated how to reach that state, but conditioned to believe happiness comes only from materialistic things.
The quality of life does not depend on outside influences. We are putting too much attention on the outer universe yet abandon our internal universe and true feelings.
Maybe things you are “meant to do“ don’t make you happy, e.g. go to university, get married and have kids by 30, buy a house soon after, step into your parents business, use other people’s strategies and methods otherwise you won’t become successful, do what authorities tell you, retire by 65. This is called living by the expectations of others, not living a fulfilled life.
Happiness is a by-product, not a destination. It’s a result of our mindset, thinking critically, behaviours, the actions we take, emotional maturity and living our hearts calling and purpose.
Neither only conditional nor unconditional happiness is the final answer. What about bridging the materialistic and spiritual world, aligning, and integrating them?
How? The solution is self-inquiry:
· If you think an object will make you happy, ask yourself why and what for?
· If you wake up in the morning and feel heavy by the mere thought of going to work or you only feel drained of energy by the end of the day, because it makes you feel unfulfilled and empty. Relationships feel superficial, abusive, and holding you back. Why are you doing this activity, job, stay in this relationship?
· When manifesting, you asking for specifics and visualizing your dreams in exact timeframe and detail, but it doesn’t work, and you feel frustrated? This is not for everyone. Try this: How do you want to feel in your home? How would you like to feel next to your ideal partner? How would it feel to work on your dreams?
· On the days you feel overwhelmed, anxious or unworthy, can you allow yourself to pause and feel it? What insight wants to come through?
· Have some fun! Where in your life is no joy? What makes you satisfied and lights up your mood? Imagine that. Do more of it. Bring your awareness right into your heart and stop focusing what’s around you. How can you bring joy to whatever job, activity you are doing or relationship you are in? You might wake up in the morning and feel some lightness in the world.
It can be extraordinary hard if you are not in touch with your own heart and love within but if you can connect to it, life can be easy.
Every moment in life we can choose to react in anger, fear and resentment which makes life feel like struggle and hardship or joy, love and understanding which creates a life of ease and flow.
Every moment you choose joy you’re going to align deeper with the beauty in life. Have some fun with friends, swing on a swing at a playground, jump off and run around in nature, look at the sky, dance with the trees, observe the birds and walk barefoot on the grass. Hop back on the swing. Have some fun in life and experience joy and laughter – and it might spark lasting happiness in your world.