Diamonds don’t shine, they reflect - the Art of self-empowerment

photo by Tania Saraiva

We got taught to fear those who are different. You think that is violence? – real violence is the violence we do to ourselves, when we are too afraid of who we are.

That is the cause of the problem. Before it becomes ugly on the outside. The good news: it is also the solution.

“I am dangerous to society and its logical structure system-based thinking and infrastructure. I am dangerous because I mimic nature, which so many systems try to control and explain. Like nature, I’m given shape by a wild, organic and unpredictable energy. I am full of genius and quantum leaps. My language is the language of the rebel, and I use beauty as a means to reflect my individual nature.” - The gift of style, Gene Key 8

Over the years I learned true style cannot be measured by materialistic trappings, it is not what kind of extravagant clothes we wear, our appearances or decoration of the houses we live in. Nor can it be faked. Nor is it here to seek attention. Or wants to show off. It is about our particular characteristics, mode of action and manner of activity.

People with style develop, live & embody their own individual, unique way of being. In that sense style is the cutting edge of creation itself, a development of elegance. It controls them, instead of them controlling it.

Looking at the world around me

I’m feeling torn by the unacceptable behaviour of the majority of humankind to not recognize that individual differentiation is the cornerstone of evolution itself. The paradox the more different we allow ourselves to be the more we operate as a unity. So, to say, we experience oneness through uniqueness.

Am I an outsider, by having the courage to think, decide & speak for myself? Moment by moment. Am I an outsider by questioning the validity of how our structures & systems are set up? Am I an outsider by seeking the source of my own being, truth & ultimate justice? By doubting if our collective behaviours and actions are still useful for our current time? Am I an outsider by giving importance to take care of my mind, soul & body? Am I an outsider because I get bored by superficial gossip? Am I an outsider by sensing that there is magic out there ready for us to see and play with? That Life is an Art and waits for us to be painted? Am I an outsider by wanting to build a society which collaborates based on higher values & balance? Am I an outsider because I do not seek to be followed, but encourage others to lead themselves?

Hand on heart - I felt like an outcast, dropped on the wrong planet, “not fitting in” most of my life. (The stories I told myself, the stories I picked up along my journey) … oh, how wrong I’ve been!

Today I know: everyone is an outsider. Everyone whose life is driven by outside stimulus, whose decisions are influenced by outer authorities or governed institutions. Outsiders are those who spend their life trying to be someone else - not shining as their authentic self and live a role assigned by the expectations of a control-based society.  

Seen as dangerous, often criticised, self-empowered people are not fitting in the consensus of society but step outside of their comfort zone. Empowering others to step out of their comfort zone too and to just do their thing, follow their convictions and create impact with what they are good at and enjoy doing. Together with others. They are examples, role models, not classical leaders. And maybe that makes them to be the best leaders we can ever imagine.

Freethinkers are not very concerned with fitting in. The only concerns are to empower more freethinkers. To live their individual dreams, which eventually becomes a collective dream. Free societies are strong societies.

when you dare to be yourself

It can be a lonely place at the beginning. And most people stop this transformation wayyyyy too early because the feeling of not being accepted, rejected, or left alone can be terrifying. I understand that. Having experienced it myself countless times. But it urges me to question: What do we miss by not following our north star? By not taking the chance to find out what’s behind that mountain? That mountain of self-doubt, self-criticism, overwhelm & fear of being different? Not good enough and fear of being seen?

Self-responsibility. What if we are afraid of being successful?

If you want to be like others, please never implement your own style, never be unique, stay always in mediocrity. Because it is not a fruit cake walk. It doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, effort, and courage to get out of mediocrity. But isn’t that what leadership means? To navigate through unknown territories?

Fear numbs us, it holds us back. Often masked as toxic behaviours like eating disorders, attachment to people who don’t respect us or don’t see the value we can bring to the table, addictions to alcohol, sex, drugs, dependencies, etc. A successful weapon against those fears is a bit of courage, vulnerability and the believe in one’s own inner knowing. A self-empowered person stands up for herself and own worth in a non-aggressive way, develops self-awareness for his own uniqueness and that of others.

The forces which are holding us back, the metaphorical “devil” will leave us when we trust ourselves. The devil has many faces, he is sneaky, unnoticeable, an intelligent bugger - comes in illusions, deceptions, procrastination, depression and robs us of our life force and joy – don’t fight him. He feeds of anger and resistance. Instead listen. Be gentle with yourself, take care of yourself.

Is it worth to bring our exquisiteness into the world?

It can sound a bit arrogant. Never achievable. Out of reach. Like the Hero in a story. The person on the pedestal. The Guru. But only if we approach it from an ego and deeply selfish motive.

Exquisiteness is beyond words and is incomparable. Its very presence in a person acts as light, sparkles like rare jewels. It shines like a diamond because it sees and reflects the beauty, the light in others through unconditional love and acceptance in every soul.

But it seems we are deeply conditioned to focus on the worst-case scenario, the “what if’…”, the “but when…”, the “I must”, “I can’t, because” more than on what really matters. We are conditioned to promote sensations of contra life like scarcity, bad news & horror more than to promote sensation of pro life - celebration, emotions, connection.

I ask myself: how can we make goodness attractive?

We have a choice. A choice of encouraging others, demean it or cherish it in creative and imaginative ways.

This is why I aim to mimic nature. She is wise, full of genius. Nature is wild but has logical patterns, a strategy without force, only interconnectedness and build on cooperation.

I want to be able to hope. To believe. To dream. In a better world. In people who never give up creating that ideal world. That we are many. A lot of. Courageous and soft. To love louder.

I believe the future will choose those who use chaos and decay as an opportunity to be authentic, recognize and enable a greater vision for this world.

Remember: We are not here to hold back & hide. Change starts with us. Individually. Self-empowered.