The renaissance of love – when our heart becomes a blazing flame
photo & Art by Johan Deckmann
“Love refines in fusion with the other sex.”
A wise sentence said by my best friend from a conversation we had within the last days. Our conversations can be challenging and triggering at times, but are always loving and honest, uplifting and in the best interest of one another.
We experience many kinds of love. Yes, we meet them at different times in our life’s for different reasons. Most of them are ok love. Emotional maturing love ideally, learning or play love most times. And there is mother’s and father’s love, sibling love, romantic love, friendship love and selflove.
In romantic liaisons we either connect out of love or dependency. The reasons why we are drawn to a person are complex and rooted in our DNA for survival of the genes and have mostly sexual dimensions and are not easy by design. Other reasons are more spiritual or karmic. However, from a universal point of view whatever forces draw us together at a cosmic level must operate through our DNA and biology. So, all these different perspectives are ultimately come together.
Deep down inside us genetically hides a distrust of others and a core fear of relationships. A person who never learned to trust confuses intensity with intimacy, obsession with care, and control with security.
This is a global shadow aspect which makes the world a lonely place. Despite the number of people around us we rarely communicate with each other in depth. Whenever we are dishonest in our relationships, work, with ourselves there we need to look with our eyes wide open & unflinching.
People addicted to unhealthy emotional relationships choose someone who can be dominated and controlled by them, because they are afraid of being rejected. Means they can not stay with someone who is honest and challenge them. Unless they heal the fear of rejection, and then they would not be attracted by that pattern and low vibrational person anymore.
Human attempts to monogamy are an age-old battle of the sexes. Men and woman react differently to the core fear of relationships.
The traditional male reaction tries to escape being trapped by a single woman. The female reaction tries to hold on to the male aura because of its promise to serve protection. Woman do understand the male urge to spread his genes wildly. She tries to keep him as close as possible and by default achieves the opposite. Of wanting to escape from her. The deep psychology hereby is: When we are allowed something, which is conventionally “forbidden” most often we don’t want it anymore.
But do we ever really love that way? Being in love and to love someone is not the same. What right do we have to limit our partners in the first place?
If we meet someone with fundamentally different values, why are we thinking we can change him /her and make it work? If we want a relationship to work, to change, to grow, overcome limitations, to expand, we have to work on ourselves. We have to do things a different way.
Luckily, our new levels of awakening open new levels of love. Think of team work. Think about companionship. Less romance. Heart to heart. Think about expansion energy. Taking action on healing. To feel worthy of love.
Intimacy in relationships is our future. But there is no true love without vulnerability and transparency towards our partner. As our heart begins to open it naturally occurs that true intimacy is born, and 2 people meet within the same awareness.
Intimacy might sound like a cosy cuddly state, but intimacy presupposes honesty. That means the fears between the sexes must be acknowledged, understood and allowed to exist. Only that will open a door so wide to true and real sexual power can be unleashed. It shakes the complete fabric of our being. It is raw power. When embraced fully it will allow us to open to a higher state of consciousness. The power of intimacy is the power of 2 auras to create a third aura so both original auras are sublimated in that moment. But that requires trust and mentally and emotional unfolding from both sides.
Sometimes we meet love at the wrong time or circumstances. Which is just an illusion of wrong timing, but in truth exquisitely guided. And if it is meant to be, we meet each other again, if both want it. Or maybe not. True love doesn’t necessarily mean we will be together in a romantic partnership. But always be connected with an invisible thread.
Call me an endless optimist or hopeless romantic if you want – but I believe in true love. I believe in the person who grows together with us. Who creates with us. It is a totally different love feeling than with all others before and after. There is not much verbally to discuss but being playful. Most fears and shadow self-aspects are exposed and healed by us. And the ones left will be transmuted as a team. Sharing soul vibrations and energy to be able to shift each other in the same room and moment.
True love doesn’t bind. Love doesn’t set rigid rules. Love is empathetic and understanding but knows healthy boundaries.
Don’t get me wrong, it might not always be a cakewalk, but has a rich fund in respect, purity, openness, expression, playfulness and intimacy.